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There are a lot of lists out there sharing all of the things you need to include for your wedding. I'm not one to gate-keep, so I'm happy to share a comprehensive guide to everything you need. Are you ready?
Here are the things you need for your wedding:
A valid marriage license
A willing partner
That’s it!*
Were you expecting a longer list?
There’s a lot of content out there, some of it helpful, some of it harmful. Planning a wedding can feel overwhelming with analysis paralysis, decision fatigue, and the weight of expectations. If you're finding yourself feeling daunted by tackling a growing list of things you are "supposed to include" for your celebration, let's take a minute to consider if each one deserves to be on that list in the first place.
Your wedding is an opportunity to showcase your personalities and your relationship, and if the lists are making you feel less-than, tune them out.
(*Okay, as your planner, I'll say we do need a good rain plan, too, to give us options in the event of uncooperative weather.)
"Options, Not Obligations"
I was in a yoga class years ago when something the teacher, the brilliant Mary Horne, said really resonated with me: “These poses are options, not obligations.” She was talking about expressions of a particular pose at the time; she reminded the class that breathing is good yoga; standing on your head is not a requirement. As long as you are focusing on your breath, you are doing it correctly. Everything from there should be a choice.
I’ve been applying this philosophy with my couples ever since.
"These are options, not obligations."
I'll say it again and again throughout our planning process.
What does that mean? I remind my couples that for the weddings we plan together, each and every element should be thoughtfully included. It's a mantra we come back to, a gut-check to make sure that what we're including for your celebration is there because you want it to be.
Every element of your timeline, every choice, and every guest has to be there for the right reason. Your day should be a reflection of what is important and matters most to the two of you.
Why not have Flower Boys? What about walking yourself down the aisle?
I’ve checked: there is no law that says you need a dance floor for it to be considered a legal wedding. If you have been looking forward to being on the dance floor ever since you first started imagining your wedding, then by all means, we will make that a special focus. But if you’re including dancing out of a sense of obligation (“weddings have this”), let’s reconsider it.
The same goes for your guest list. Your wedding is an opportunity to share the day with the people who mean the most to you.
Need a little guidance on crafting your guest list? Here’s a quick guide for trimming your wedding guest list! Read On
It’s easy to slip into the trap of "I have to have this" or "it’s expected of me" or "but that's just how it's done." We can explore that together, and figure out what makes the most sense to include in your celebration, and what would feel better left out.
If a decision feels especially tough to make, often times, this gentle reminder that you have all the permission in the world to make the choice you most want to make, makes it a lot easier to figure out what you actually need.
By trimming out decisions made out of obligation, we can better focus our energy and attention on crafting an experience that is completely tailored to you. By weeding out that nagging feeling, we can focus on the joy, fun, and excitement in the many months leading up to your wedding day.
As far as I’m concerned, there are no rules. If you want to walk down the aisle together, you should go for it! If you want to avoid an aisle altogether, that’s fine, too. If the bridal party logistics are causing you stress, we can still arrange for your closest friends to get ready together, without the matching dresses and responsibilities.
I’m all about finding yeses!
Whether we are putting your own unique spin on an existing tradition, creating new traditions from scratch, or embracing the classics, we will make your celebration special and unique to you.
Let’s plan a wedding full of all the things you most want to be there, with thoughtful touches for your guest experience and none of the noise. I’m ready when you are!
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